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Chrissy Teigen recently took a trip down memory lane and reminisced over the pain, healing and love she experienced during the course of last year after her miscarriage with son Jack.
The model and cookbook author reflected on the hurt and anguish in an interview with ScaryMommy.com.
There she started off by revealing her children’s reaction towards losing their baby brother and admitted, “At school, when they draw things, they draw him as an angel. We talk about it a lot.”
However, even though Teigen and John Legend’s two, Luna and Miles grieved the loss, “I don’t think they’ll ever quite understand why he didn’t make it, in the way that I don’t understand”. (sic)
During the course of her interview with the outlet, the young mother also admitted, “I feel like I’ve had a lot of closure” after a year of healing and self-reflection.
While she admits it was the hardest decision of her life, “I think that’s where the real growth happens, when your world is turned upside down.”
Even the author’s brand new cookbook turned into a saving grace and helped her deal with her emotions, through food. “For me, it’s very personal,” Teigen admitted. “I was deeply involved, but it’s also things that I really, really needed to eat and things that I wanted to make.”
She also admitted, “When everything happened, all I wanted myself was comfort recipes, so I decided I wanted to be fully immersed in this cookbook process.”
“It’s funny because the [process of writing] Hungry for More was kind of — there were bouts of incredible depression postpartum. I was physically there for it, but I wasn’t necessarily mentally there. This one, I needed it to survive.”
It was only after the cookbook was released that Teigen felt it was time to truly process her loss and grieve. “After I was done with the book, I realized, ‘Oh, it’s time to address a lot of things. It’s definitely time for therapy and time for some healing’.”
For those unversed, the miscarriage was announced in September of 2020, on Instagram, with photographs straight from Teigen’s hospital room.